Did you know you can legally change your child’s name? Imagine doing that instead of grounding them
"don’t make me change your name to dick cheese the third again"
my dog was supposed to be a police dog but he failed the training for it because he was too much of a wimp. the trainers said that when he was supposed to be attacking dummies he’d run up to them and roll over and wag his tail and they also said he was the worst failure they’d ever seen
He wore his new boots today and was the most popular dog on the trail!
I may never come down to earth again
Toffee was mad that he couldn’t fit in the kitten house so he squished it
the second cat looking at the camera like “do you see this bullshit?”